


RAT PACK™

by patro_clus



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec somehow became a vegetarian, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, F/F, Group chat, M/M, Multi, None of Your Faves are Straight, Polyamory, Polygamy, Social Media AU, Sorry Not Sorry, Texting, Trans Alec Lightwood, Trans Male Character, bi! Maia, established relationships - Freeform, ftm Alec, lesbain! Izzy, pan! Clary, reliorn in later chapters, salec is brotp, they are a mess, this is a mess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-12 04:57:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11729967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patro_clus/pseuds/patro_clus
Summary: In which Clary creates a group chat with her friends. Some people don't want to be there, some people won't let them leave, but all of them are gay.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> usernames:  
> alick.fightwood - Alec  
> maggiebabe - Magnus  
> izalesbian - Izzy  
> sighman - Simon  
> golden_mhmboi - Jace  
> redhots - Clary  
> mamamaia - Maia

redhots has created a group chat! Name: RAT PACK™

 

Happy chatting!

redhots: FINALLY MADE THE GC

 

redhots: BLESS UP

 

alick.fightwood: clarissa i swear to god if you dont stop with the rats

 

redhots: THE RATS WILL RISE

 

redhots: THEY WILL TAKE OVER ONCE AGAIN

 

sighman: just like they did in 1346

 

alick.fightwood: that was like 671 years ago

 

sighman: perfect timing for another one then

 

alick.fightwood: perfect timing for you to stfu 

 

maggiebabe: let them have their fun alexander 

 

redhots: THANK YOU

 

alick.fightwood: i,,, cannot believe my own boyfriend won't side with me

 

izalesbian: clary never sides with me 

 

izalesbian: it's always simon 

 

redhots: LIES

 

golden_mhmboi: that's probs because my boyfriend is always right 

 

sighman: !!thank¡¡

 

alick.fightwood: why did we agree to a group chat again

 

maggiebabe: because it's tiring to always send screenshots back and forth whenever we make plans

 

maggiebabe: which is like every other day

 

redhots: exactly

 

izalesbian: oh you finally decided to type in lowercase 

 

alick.fightwood: she still manages to be loud even when she's texting 

 

alick.fightwood: carrot you should try some other things while texting

 

redhots: like what???

 

alick.fightwood: not doing it

 

maggiebabe: ALEXANDER OASJKFGK

 

sighman: SHOULD I LAUGH OR PROTEC

 

mamamaia: i finally arrive and all i see is clary getting burned by alec 

 

mamamaia: i can see the appeal of this group chat now

 

golden_mhmboi: i like how neither izzy or maia defend their girlfriend 

 

redhots: the disrespect :”)

 

redhots: and to think i was gonna take them on a date...

 

izalesbian: ALEC LIGHTWOOD HOW DARE YOU

 

mamamaia: CATCH THESE HANDS YOU LONG ASS BITCH

 

maggiebabe: long ass bitch

 

golden_mhmboi: long ass bitch

 

sighman: long ass bitch

 

izalesbian: long ass bitch

 

alick.fightwood: you're just mad because i could step on you

 

mamamaia has changed alick.fightwoods name to: longassbitch™

 

longassbitch™: NO CHANGE IT BACK

 

longassbitch: YOU KNOW I DONT KNOW HOW TO CHANGE IT BACK SONRKGMH

 

longassbitch™: MAGS HELP ME

 

maggiebane: ...i suddenly don't know how to change it back idk 

 

sighman: i love the betrayal written on alec’s face rn

 

golden_mhmboi: you're with alec??? and not me???

 

sighman: he's the only one here who can help me with my gender studies essay

 

longassbitch™: ^^

 

maggiebane: 'tis true 

 

golden_mhmboi: so when you get together to work on a gender studies essay you stay on your phone ?

 

sighman: it's called p r o c r a s t i n a t i o n 

 

longassbitch™: anyways where did the girsl go

 

maggiebane: girsl 

 

sighman: idk anyone named girsl 

 

sighman: do you jace?

 

golden_mhmboi: nope idk them

 

longassbitch™: i will step on every single one of you cisgender assholes

 

maggiebabe: you love me too much to do that

 

longassbitch™: true

 

longassbitch™: but i don't love simon or jace so pREPARE TO BE STEPPED ON

 

sighman: DO IT YOU LONG ASS BITCH


	2. Chapter 2

longassbitch™ has changed longassbitch™ to homohelp

homohelp: help im stuck in my binder 

sighman: what a nerd

homohelp: you wont say that to my face

sighman: yr right i wont 

maggiebabe: where r u ill help

homohelp: my room

homohelp: specifically half way off the bed 

maggiebabe: k im coming 

redhots: i thought you "perfected the art of removing a binder" ???

izalesbian: he did say that dnt he

homohelp: THIS IS TRANSPHOBIA 

homohelp: I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT

homohelp: STOP THE VIOLENCE PLS AND THANK

maggiebabe: LWNEKFGK HES LTRLY HALF WAY OFF THE BED

maggiebabe: IM CRURIN HOW DID THIS HAPPEN

maggiebabe: WHAT KIND OF PROCESS

redhots: i can hear him cackling 

mamamaia: why do i wake up to these things

sighman: why are you always sleeping ?

mamamaia: don't question my ways of seduction 

golden_mhmboi has changed golden_mhmboi to cis_asshole

redhots: ???

redhots: jace???

sighman: anyways how is sleeping seductive 

mamamaia: when u sleep people miss you and wake you up

mamamaia: therefore you made someone crave you enough to wake you up

sighman: wow !!

izalesbian: why isnt jace saying anything 

redhots: im scared

maggiebabe: okay so

izalesbian: STORY TIME

redhots: is it about alec 

sighman: isnt it always about alec????

maggiebabe: i helped alexander out of his binder but the whole time jace was in the room practically dying 

maggiebabe: because alexander had been almost upside down the whole time 

maggiebabe: and he may or may not have fell off the bed 

mamamaia: thats what the bang that woke me up was

sighman: HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE IN THE LOFT RIGHT NOW WORNKGKD

maggiebabe: bring the attention back to me please 

izalesbian: why is tht such a mags thing 2 say

maggiebabe: so when alexander got out of his binder and slipped his shirt on he attacked blondie 

maggiebabe: and he managed to get jaces phone

maggiebabe: and is now changing everything on it to things about how hes a "cis asshole"

redhots: has he been holding jace down this whole time¿

maggiebabe: si 

sighman: IM GONNA CRY

sighman: I JUST WENT OVER TO THEM

sighman: IM FUCKFIFG

mamamaia: send vids or it didnt happen

redhots: hand over the receipts 

izalesbian: shovel the snow

maggiebabe: wtf isabelle 

sighman: [insert video]

izalesbian: were we not just telling simon 2 do things

redhots: no babe srry 

mamamaia: JACE LOOKS SO SCARED

mamamaia: IM GONNA PEE AKEKKF

redhots: WHAT HAPPENED TO STOPPING THE VIOLENCE 

sighman: k i think theyre done

homohelp has changed homohelp to transparent

transparent: i would like to thank my wonderful boyfriend for helping me

transparent: and propose that we sHUN JACE WAYLAND 

maggiebabe: no problem babe

maggiebabe: anything for my darling alexander 

redhots: AW

izalesbian: AW

mamamaia: AW

sighman: AW

cis_asshole: dont shun jace wayland pls

transparent: why is there just blank boxes coming into the chat

maggiebabe: weird

izalesbian: maybe it a glitch

sighman: the world may never know

mamamaia: oh well

cis_asshole has changed cis_asshole to notjacewayland

notjacewayland: hello

transparent: who tf are you

notjacewayland: not jace wayland thats for sure

sighman: wow a new friend!!!

izalesbian: hello darkness my new friend

redhots: babe no

mamamaia: i cant stop watching that fucking video

mamamaia: alec is SO violent

notjacewayland has changed notjacewayland to jacewayland

jacewayland: YOU HAVE BEEN FOOLED

transparent: LANKDGNKDMG

maggiebabe: THAT WAS SO SCARY

redhots: PLEASE DONT DO THAT

izalesbian: JACE SCARED ME SOMEONE COMFORT ME

mamamaia: hello

redhots: hello

jacewayland: why do we waste our free time like this


	3. Chapter 3

maggiebabe has changed maggiebabe to magathan

transparent: i fucking hate u 

transparent: why do u do this to me

redhots: ¿¿magathan??

magathan: yes biscuit?

transparent: i swear to god

redhots: why is your name magathan 

jacewayland: wtf is a magathan

magathan: well you see

transparent: mags please no

magathan: my darling alexander was trying to make a point and he accidentally called me magathan instead of magnus 

redhots: how the fuck

transparent: IM SO USED TO YELLING AT JACE

transparent: AND CALLING HIM JONATHAN 

jacewayland: oajktkbbnd rude

mamamaia: are we all -athans now

mamamaia: maiathan 

redhots: claryathan 

izalesbian: isabelleathan 

jacewayland: alecathan 

magathan: magnusathan

transparent: STOP THIS

transparent: IT WAS A MISTAKE 

sighman: sorry im late

sighman: simonathan 

transparent: blocked

magathan: NO PLEASE I LOVE YOU DONT BLOCK ME

izalesbian: aw 

mamamaia: aw

redhots: aw

transparent: fine i wont block you

transparent: and i love you too

magathan: aw alexanderathan is so sweet

transparent: LANEKGKHLFME

izalesbian: off topic but its tuesday 

transparent: oh shite i forgot

sighman: how could you forget tuesday

mamamaia: ayyye its tuesday 

magathan: i love tuesday :")

jacewayland: AYE T DAY

transparent: ok so i need someone to coax me into stabbing myself with this needle

sighman: more body hair!!

magathan: deeper voice !!!!

jacewayland: acne 

mamamaia: jace i swear to god

izalesbian: i will slap you

redhots: catch these fucking hands

transparent: :""")

transparent: ok mag come over here and stab me in the ass

magathan: u put it in ur thigh though 

transparent: i know i was being funny

sighman: pfft 

transparent: bitch 

mamamaia: magathan go stab your boyfriend already

izalesbian: please do i can hear him trying to coax himself and its very annoying 

magathan: NOTHING HE DOES IS ANNOYING 

magathan: BABE IM COMING TO STAB U

sighman: aw?

redhots: that was very cute in a psychotic way

jacewayland: I HEARD A SCREAM

izalesbian: yeah he stabbed him

sighman: man serum is painful judging by the howling coming from the bathroom

mamamaia: tag yourself im the man serum


End file.
